STOP! This question is the worst! I am single because I choose to be, not because of some deep seeded flaw. Maybe it’s because I have commitment issues or maybe it’s because I really like being single. Who knows? But, please stop asking as it is so rude.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times in my life when I have started to question myself, as well. I mean, I am cute, in shape, fun to hang out with, and successful. I can even cook! My kids don’t suck (at least usually), and my house stays fairly clean. So, why? It’s during these unfortunate times that it becomes easy to believe that I have set my standards too high. I trick myself into thinking I am too hard on people and maybe I am the one that needs to become more tolerant. This is a huge mistake. Single ladies of the world….THIS IS A TRAP! DO NOT FALL FOR THE HYPE! Our standards aren’t too high, and the minute you lower them, you settle. DO NOT SETTLE!
I was once engaged to a guy during one of these “episodes”. We’ll call him, Schmob. Schmob was very blue collar. Spoke in double negatives, wore carpenter jeans on purpose, and drank way too much Miller Lite (the horror). He was also an annoying Brown’s super-fan. One day after a game, I found him passed out on the floor next to his bed with his pants half off. He fell down trying to change and stayed there. I was so proud. He was the exact opposite of me. During one of these “episodes”, however, one can talk themselves into believing that maybe this is totally normal behavior. This must be how guys act and I have been the jerk for not accepting them for who they are. Yea, right. With every “ain’t got no” I died a little inside. Obviously, this one got called off. I never missed him one day once he was gone. I was settling and didn’t even know it. He’s probably still at the Muni-lot drinking Miller Lites waiting for the next tailgate. UGH.
During another one of my “episodes”, I tried to date an old boyfriend that in college had cheated on me with one of my sorority sisters. It’s easy to make yourself believe that guys can change when you are in an “episode”. You start to think, “Perhaps, I’m the person who is too judgey. Give them another chance.” Not only was he a cheater, he was also arrogant, rude and embarrassing to bring around friends. He would look at the hummus put out for entertaining, and make a gagging noise, and exclaim his hatred for the food being provided him. This guy also was poorly spoken and wore carpenter jeans. On purpose! What is it with poorly spoken men in carpenter jeans? Ladies, red flag alert here. This guy was so rude. Once I asked him if he thought our relationship was headed anywhere? He replied, “Just keep it fun and I’ll keep coming around.” Ummmm, whaaaaaaa?????? GET OUT! OMG, I”M SETTLING!!!!!!
Today, I have no aversion to finding somebody. I have learned my lesson on settling and it’s never going to happen again. If I do find Mr. Right, he’s got to be everything I want him to be. Not just the pieces parts. My mother on my 40th birthday said, “You know, Prince Charming isn’t coming.” Maybe not, but he better be able to complete a proper sentence, eat my friends hummus and rock a great pair of form fitted jeans.